Understanding Eating Disorders: How to Support a Loved One and Provide Help
When someone you know is struggling with something, your natural instinct is to help and support them in any way you can, whether that’s bringing over a home cooked meal after the passing of a loved one, taking a friend out after a breakup, or providing a listening ear to your partner after they’ve had a hard day at work. But when it comes to supporting someone you love through their eating disorder and recovery, you might not know what to do, what to say, or how to show up for them. If you’re looking to learn more about how to support someone with an eating disorder or someone working towards recovery, keep reading for more information about some of the things you can do that will make a positive impact on their journey to recovery.
Learn About Eating Disorders
Learning about eating disorders to be able to understand what your loved one is going through is so important. This will allow you to provide more informed support and avoid doing or saying things that could be harmful to their recovery. A few great places to start are the National Eating Disorder Information Center (NEDIC1) and National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA2) websites. Here, you can learn more about what eating disorders are, how they’re developed, and things to look out for in someone experiencing one. The MODERN PSYCH blog also hosts a variety of informative posts discussing many topics related to disordered eating, health, and wellness that you might also find helpful in your journey of supporting someone with an eating disorder.
Offer Emotional Support
Just like our natural reactions to hearing of a loss, a breakup, or a bad day at work, we want to be there to emotionally support our loved ones through their eating disorder, too. Offering emotional support by providing a listening ear without judgement is so important. You can encourage your loved one to be open about the challenges and struggles they’re facing and reassure them that you’re there to listen and support them no matter what. This type of open and supportive dialogue can help relieve some of the shame and stigma your loved one is experiencing towards their struggles1. At first your loved one might feel guarded and unwilling to discuss their eating disorder, so be patient and don’t push them to share anything they aren’t ready to since this could further isolate them. Instead, it would be helpful to express your love, care, and concern for them and their wellbeing to show your support emotionally.
Avoid Making Comments About Their Appearance
When talking to someone with an eating disorder, try to avoid any comments or compliments that focus on their appearance. Even comments that might not seem damaging to you could be taken in such a way by someone struggling with an eating disorder. For example, saying “You look great,” or “You look so healthy,” may feel neutral from your perspective, but it could cause your loved one to obsess over their appearance and weight since looking “great” or “healthy” might insinuate that they’ve gained or lost weight. Instead, try expressing compliments that focus on their energy and the things you love about them outside of their physical body. For example, “You seem so happy today”, or “I love spending time with you”, are great alternatives to comments about physical appearance.
Take Care of Yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup! Make sure you’re taking time to focus on your own mental wellbeing and self-care practices during this time, too. Being a support person to someone with an eating disorder can be tough, so seek support for yourself as well if you need it! When you feel like you might need some extra care yourself, consider asking for help if you need it, or spend some time in nature, take some deep breaths, reach out to the people in your life who support you, and check in with yourself frequently. It’s easy to put the focus on your loved one as they work towards recovery, so try and make an effort to check in on yourself frequently and ask yourself what you need.
Encourage Professional Help
If someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, maybe the most important and impactful thing you can do for them is encourage them to consider professional help. Professional help for eating disorders comes in many forms, and the severity of the disorder will determine the type of help that is best suited for them. Professional help could be admission to an in-patient program for eating disorders, making an appointment with a family doctor or general practitioner for a check-up, seeing a psychiatrist, or seeking support through therapy with a counsellor or psychotherapist.
Remember, your role is to provide support, not fix the problem all together. Be there to provide emotional support, encourage them to seek professional help when they’re ready, and take care of yourself, too! If you or someone you love is looking for support with an eating disorder or mental health, consider booking a consultation with one of our team members today to start working towards your mental health goals.
References:
1 National Eating Disorder Information Center (NEDIC). (2024). General information. https://nedic.ca/general-information/
2 National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA). (n. d.). Grace Holland Cozine resource center. https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/resource-center/
